Day 5

my back hurts :( I had a long night of fitful sleep. I had way, WAY too much stuff on my mind last night. Teaching job, money for next summer, boy stuff, more boy stuff. After tossing for 2 hours, I finally got out of bed, got on my knees and said a prayer that God please take all of my insecurities away. I will wait for what he has planned for me. If I need to change, then change me. I someone else needs to change, I am willing to wait. I want to stop worrying about it all... Even now though, I find my chest getting tight just thinking about it all.

Yuck.

I'm going for a walk.

on the bright side, I'm down 2 more pounds. and I bought smaller clothes yesterday!!

Day 2

went to my old job today to say hello. saw one of my fav people there and one of the first things she said to me was: "have you lost weight? you look good!"

epic. win.

walked this a.m. then had an epiphany about portion control at lunch. I managed to put a normal-person-sized portion on my plate and was completely satisfied!

loving this new work schedule. able to plan my weeks easily.

meant to grocery shop today for breakfast options... need to do that tomorrow.

Day 1

Well, the weekend wasn't much of a success... time to begin a new week.

I had a moment that I haven't seen the likes of in over a year. Friday afternoon, while planning to go out with some friends later that night, I went shopping for a new top to wear. I found a jacket in a size that I haven't been in in over a year. It. Fit. I haven't gone out feeling like I look that nice in a L.O.N.G. time. I looked damn good, in fact.

Still debating on the new work schedule. I've found that I am not walking on work days. I want to focus on me for a while. I have to. Since I have such freedom in my schedule, I think I'll experiment with it over the next week of two and see how the walking schedule goes...

In other news, I think that I've gotten my body to the point where I can no longer tolerate nasty, yummy food. I ate a pasta dish last night that had a creamy sauce and it made me sick. While I am a little upset that I apparently can no longer eat this particular dish, I am ecstatic that my stomach has learned to distinguish the good from the bad/ugly. If only my brain would catch up!

Also, I have become super sensitive to caffeinated beverages. I drank one today and have felt for the last few hours like I was about to start bouncing around the room... back to water. Immediately.

Day 4

Wednesday... I haven't posted this week!

Sunday - was sick. didn't walk for fear of said sickness.

Monday. Walked and did well.

Tuesday. Didn't walk :( started a part-time job and had to be up and at 'em waaaayyy to early to consider walking.

And we're at today! Walked and I've done pretty well. Lunch was a turkey sammich and a little pasta salad.

I've discovered a new love. Fruit2O. Zero calories and plenty of electrolytes! Couldn't find it at Wally World, so I got some Crystal Light Pure Fitness instead. 30 calories per serving. not bad at all, but I wish I could have found the other!

Saturday - CHEAT DAY!

So I'm going to talk through a few things here simply because I feel like I get my thoughts out better on paper (albeit the digital kind in this case).

What is so appealing about feeling "full". I eat a huge meal - quickly - and stop only when I feel like I can't move. It's harder to breathe because my stomach is so full. Why is this something that I do to myself on purpose?

Every article that I have looked at has pointed me toward Binge Eating Disorder. 

Yes, I already knew this. Eating in secret. Gorging myself until I felt like I would be sick. And then feeling super guilty after eating...

My name is TreyBo and I'm a Binge Eater.

My new project: learning to eat S.L.O.W.E.R.

I was eating leftover pizza from last night for lunch today and realized that I'd eaten 3 pieces in about 5 minutes. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. This stops now.

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Now that I have THAT out of my system... Today is cheat day. And I feel guilty for it. I'd go walk, but it's raining :( I think I'll lift some weights or maybe do some yoga... once my rather large lunch settles.

Day 6

Forgot to write yesterday... Did well all day. Forgot breakfast though. Oops.

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Today

Walked. Of course.

Forgot breakfast. Remembered at mile 0.5.

Lunch: chicken sammich

Snack: C&C

Dinner: Homemade pizza.

dessert... cinnamon apple bread pudding.

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I am at 266.5 today. I have made a rule: I will never again see 270. Ever. When I get into the 250s I will promise never to see 260 again, and so forth. See where this is going? It's a good plan, if you ask me.

Day 4

Realized that I hadn't eaten breakfast when I was at about 0.5 miles...

Walked (obviously)

Lunch: chicken wrap

snack: wasn't at home for snack, but ate a little bit of cheese when I got home

Dinner: 3 chicken tacos on corn tortillas

Dessert... yes, I had dessert: cupcake and ice cream.I couldn't resist.